Freedom Girl

November 2014
Dear Sr. Helen Joseph,

Did you give them this information? Did you tell the college that I never had a mother, ever? Did you let them believe I was my brother's daughter? Really? Why didn't I see this until this year? Must we always have reality be your reality your way?

Love, Honey

Dear Sister Helen Joseph,

Yes, that is what I mean. My brother is Daniel O'Leary, Jr. My father was Sr. and there was a mother. My mother, remember. And no, my daughter Brigid is not named after you. You are not named Brigid.

Love, Honey

Real Parents

End of Summer 2014, just before the Solstice

Dear Sister Helen Joseph,

You knew those were my real parents, didn’t you? There was no twin for me. As much as I wanted Ellen and the Real Parents to come claim me after all, it wasn’t going to happen and you knew.

So, when Mommy died. That was real. My real mother, really died. Barbara and Josephine had options, not that they played out, but I wanted that, too.

No, I did not go in search. I didn’t think Ellen would be at Bates. My twin wouldn’t have had to pick a college near home. Anyway, where was her home? How would I know?

Yes, I always figured, ok, always hoped there was another one of me out there named Ellen. She got the more modern name and The Real Parents kept her. Even boys liked her .She had matching outfits and a pretty bedroom and her parents, The Real Parents, both worried about and encouraged her.  I hoped they'd come get me, but they didn’t.

No, when I struck out on my own it was to find myself, not them.

Love, Honey

Stonecoast MFA

Dear Sister Helen Joseph,

Of course I was kidding when I said I would have to rob a bank. I'm not kidding when I say I'll have to use smoke and mirrors. It's an expression, although I have no smoke.

The deadline was September 1 to have my application complete and I got the call on September 10. When I saw someone was calling from Portland, I thought it was my doctor's office or someone from the collective he belongs to. I joked to myself that it might be Stonecoast, but I thought it was too soon for them. I was giving them until at least the end of the month. When I heard the woman call me Helen, then I was pretty sure it was Martin's Point Healthcare, but she said Stonecoast. Yeah, in. Accepted, me.

If I had the money to pay cash for this, I would be all set. Now I have to figure something out. That's where the smoke and mirrors come in. You are welcome to contribute.

Do you know the only suggestion that I might be too old for this came from you? Only you.

Love, Honey